Patience

After his lung collapsed it was a waiting game. Each day they took x-rays in the morning and afternoon to see how his lungs were doing. They took blood every 6 hours and made adjustments to the respirator according to the results. When the results looked good they adjusted the respirator to breathe less for him and when it looked bad they took it back up again. All I could do was sit by his bedside and watch day after day.

Hospital AGAIN

We got home from hospital last week Thursday after spending 7 days there again. My baby had Viral Pneumonia and a list of other things they found in his mucus. He also has a very big Iron deficiency. He has not even had his immunizations yet as he has not been well for 10 days in a row.
Sigh.......

Struggling

Hi. I apologize for my delay in posting. I am struggling with my kids and everything that is going on in my life at the moment.
I found x-rays of my baby yesterday from the day his lungs collapsed and realized once again how privileged I am to have him. He was so close to death. What we are struggling with now is nothing in comparison to that.On the 28th of this month he will be 7 months old. He is not even sitting yet never mind anything else. We will talk again soon

Sorry for the delay

Apologies for the delay. We have had such problems, first with the internet and then the computer. My baby has also been ill these last three weeks. As soon as I catch up on some sleep I will be back again.

Things get worse

When I walked in the next morning I got another blow. My sons lung collapsed and they were busy putting a drainage pipe into his lungs when I walked into ICU. My heart could not cope with this at that moment in time. I burst out in tears. My sons pediatrician tried to console me but I don't think anybody could have said anything that would make me feel better at that point in time. I walked out of there with my heart dragging on the floor behind me. I feared to go back there. I stayed away for hours, dreading walking in there only to find out that my son did not make it. This was one of my worst days I had. It was also difficult being there alone and not having my husband there at that moment. I phoned him and he came immediately. Nothing helped me to feel better that day. Now I wanted to touch him less than before, scared to cause him more pain. My son held on and kept fighting for his life through all the pain he had to go through. He is my little miracle given to me not once or twice but several times. I hate to think about all the times I almost lost him and thank God that He gave him back to me over and over. We did not take any pictures while the pipe was in his lungs because that was not a memory that I wanted to have.

We met (Day 1)

I was scared to touch my son. I did not want to cause him any more discomfort or pain. Because of the pipes in his nose he could not even cry. He could not breastfeed so I expressed milk for him and they gave it to him through a tube in his nose. I did not have milk for him that first day and struggled to get 2ml every three hours for him. He was supposed to get 5ml every 3 hours.
The hospital I was in was excellent. They kept the ICU empty for his benefit.
The people were so helpful and explained everything to me. It was a shock to see my baby like that and it helped to have friendly faces to assist me in this difficult time. Normal new born diapers were too big for him and I had to get prem diapers for him. I did buy him some prem clothes but he did not wear any clothes for quite a few days, only a hat and socks when the drips was not in his feet.
In mean time my other 2 sons and husband had to cope without me at home.

The day we met

When I saw my son laying in ICU it was worse than I could ever have imagined. There were drips and drips and lines and monitors and lines and alarms. Then we are not even talking about the Ventilator and Feeding tube in his nose. My heart bled when I saw my son lying there. Weighing in at 2.2kg (1 pound) (which is a very good weight for a prem). There were 2 lines coming from his umbilical cord, one they used to draw blood for the Blood gas panels that they did every 6 hours. A temperature monitor was stuck on his breast; it was a little golden heart. He was less than 24 hours old and he was already getting drugs like you would not believe. They also had to give him surfactant for his lungs - 2 vials which carried a cost of about ZAR11 000 (+- $1 100). He was getting stuff that helped to regulate his heart beat and God knows what else. He had the most peculiar shakes and movements. He was just skin and bones. When he was struggling to breathe his stomach would jerk. It was very scary when I first saw it. His hands had a piece of plaster on and were pinned to his blanket to stop him from pulling out the ventilator and other lines. He was the smallest little miracle I have ever received. I will tell you more about this on another day. It still brings tears to my eyes when I think about it.

The morning after

The down side of having a Spinal block is that you cant get up immediately. You are supposed to wait 24 hours before standing up. By the next morning I was going out of my mind. When my gynaecologist came to see how I was doing I insisted that the drip be removed so I could go see my baby. With the drip my pain pump also went, but I didnt care. I just wanted to see my son. Having a c-section is very painful and I would much rather have given normal birth. Walking was extremely difficult and very painful. My sons Peadiatrician came and organised a wheel chair and took me to meet my son.

The Birth

They did not want to put me under general anesthetics due to the fact that my blood pressure was so high and all the other risk factors so I had a Spinal Block. The sounds one could hear and everything I could see in the light freaked me out completely. First they could not find him. He had moved to a totally different position from when they did the scan. When they found him they had to take him out feet first. I kept on asking why is he not crying. He wasn't breathing. They briefly brought him to me and he was ice cold to the touch and his skin was grey. I knew he was in great danger. Then they took him away and started working on saving his life. I didn't know what was going on with my son as they pushed me into the recovery room. I didn't know if I would see my son again. I hope no one ever has to feel that way.

I was in and out of hospital throughout my pregnancy. I had to do weekly blood test. I was injected with steroids to try make baby develop faster. On the 28th of October it was time. My blood pressure wasn't doing well and my kidneys were folding under the strain. We struggled to get a hospital that could accommodate me for a c-section and had a bed in Paediatric ICU. Eventually I had the Cesarean in a hospital that doesn't have a maternity ward but had a bed for baby in PICU. I went in for my c-section around 5 in the afternoon.

The surprise

In early 2008 I got the news that I was Pregnant for the third time. After my second child they did not give me much hope of ever having more children, so you could imagine my surprize. My second child was already born at 35 weeks. I knew that it was going to be difficult. My trouble started at 14 weeks. My blood pressure shot up and I started bleeding. We thought we were going to lose the baby. Thank goodness after a stay in hospital everything was under controll again. From there it was a constant struggle.

My children

I have 3 boys. 10 years, 3 years and 4 months old. My second child was born at 35 weeks and my last at 34 weeks, due to the fact that I get PET or Pre-eclampsia when I am pregnant. Iwould like to share my experiences with you. And I would love to hear from you if you are going through it as well. I look forward to sharing my life with you.